


HOPE

by MidnightHarlow



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-20
Updated: 2019-04-20
Packaged: 2020-01-20 14:43:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18527167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MidnightHarlow/pseuds/MidnightHarlow
Summary: This is basically my take on S01xE04: "Where Have All The Cowboys Gone?" A.K.A. the high school flash back episode.





	HOPE

**Author's Note:**

> @Iresposts gave me the idea for this little work of mine. She said in her head she imagines that Michael and Alex only partook in HJs and BJs when they were teens and didn't do the "wink wink, nudge nudge, say no more" with each other until later on when they were adults. Her along with @ViscerallyLoumen believed in me and dealt with my constant harassment and pleas to read and reread everything to make sure all was well. They are the best betas in the world. 
> 
> Since everything is basically canon, I didn't think I had to tag anything, but let me know if you think I should. 
> 
> I hope you guys like it and enjoy!

Alex’s POV:  
It starts with him discovering he is different when he is 11 years old. Well, he doesn’t discover that he’s different because he doesn’t feel any different. He’s the same old Alex he’s always been, but he must be different because his dad tells him he’s different. And whatever it is that makes him different must be really bad because it’s making his dad angry at him all the time. 

Jesse’s anger turns to hate and abuse and fear and bruises and maybe its Jesse’s who is different, cause it still is the same ole Alex. At least he has Kyle, his best friend, his temporary escape from the hell he calls home, and safe space where he can be himself. Be normal. Until Kyle goes away too because Alex is different now and Kyle doesn’t want people to think he is different too. Especially in that well.

Michael’s POV:  
It starts with crashing to earth. Was that the plan? Who knows? Anyway, it starts with crashing to earth in the 40s. Then it’s being in pods for a really long time. Are they called pods where they are from? So…pods…for a long fucking ass time. Then they are out of said pods and walking around in their birthday suits as the humans/earthlings/whatever like to say. It’s them being found and going to the group home. 

Then it’s just the three of them…Max, Isobel, and him…at the group home. It’s not the best, but at least they’re together. Until the Evanses show up. They show up looking to leave with one child, but end up leaving with two (Max and Isobel) while Michael is left there alone feeling like Junior the Problem Child in the place. Then it’s him alone.

Then it’s him being sent to live with two meth heads in Albuquerque. Zero stars. Would not recommend it. Then it’s being sent to live with a drunk in Santa Fe. Half a star. Would not recommend…unless the other choice is living with meth heads, then would totally recommend. Then it’s him being sent back to Roswell to go live with some religious fundamentalist freaks which is kind of like living through the plot of Carrie and that Safe Haven segment from V/H/S 2, but without the mass murder vibes. Though he cannot say what happened after he delivered from there to the ‘peace of mind’ that comes with living with a drunk. 

The one good thing is that he gets to have Max and Isobel back in his life again. At least it seems to be at first, until he starts to notice that he doesn’t fit with them anymore. It’s Max and Isobel and sometimes Michael when he’s needed. 

Alex’s POV:  
Time passes by and it’s an ongoing battle to survive and stay sane at home and at school. With his mom gone, there’s no longer a buffer between him and whatever Jesse feels he wants to take out on him at the moment. Then there’s school. Not as bad as home but still. A place where a bunch of dicks think they can make a name for themselves by picking on the “easy target”. Well, one thing he learns from having to take punches from Jesse, is how to throw some of his own. 

So, yeah, it’s a war at home, a war at school, and constant loneliness. Until his senior year that is…  
It doesn’t start off so great, but it sorta kinda… improves. For a bit anyway. He spends a lot of time in the music room. All a guy wants to do is strum on his guitar and mellow out by becoming one with the music. He gets there and his guitar is missing. What the actual fuck?!? He asks around and the answer is always the same: Guerin!

Finding him is easy, if you mean trekking all the way to the bleachers where he’s sitting on the bed of his truck and playing his baby. 

“What the hell Guerin? You can’t just steal instruments from the music room. This is mine!”

“I was going to return it. And…and it was out of tune, so, you’re welcome,” he says all smug. Okay so it did sound in tune when he walked up and Guerin sounded kinda good strumming the guitar. Looking past Guerin’s shoulder he sees the sleeping bag. 

“You really do live in your truck.” 

“All the rumours about you true?” he throws back. Okay fair enough. 

“You’re kind of lucky you know. Things at my house suck. There’s this toolshed out by my house. It’s warm and I go there when things get bad. So…” Doing good. Walking away now. 

He knows Guerin is in the toolshed, but after the whole prom night debacle, and not wanting to freak him out he keeps his distance for the first few nights, but that night he decides he’ll go over there. When he opens the door Guerin is scrambling to hide or who knows what. 

“Guerin…relax. It’s just me.” 

“I was just ha-hanging…” he stammers. 

“Yeah yeah. It’s fine. It’s good that you’ve been staying here. It’s cold tonight,” he reassures Guerin. “I bought you this, it’s my brother’s,” he says, acoustic guitar in hand. “I thought maybe you’d use it.”

He takes it, meeting Alex’s eyes briefly before looking away. 

“Why are you being so nice to me?” he asks. Damn! That hurts. Has no one been nice to him, ever?. 

“People don’t always have an agenda. They can be nice to each other for no reason sometimes.” 

“Not in my experience,” he says, and Alex doesn’t know how to respond to that so standing in silence will have to do. 

Thankfully, Guerin sits on the mattress and takes the guitar out of its cover. “Wow. It’s the only thing that makes me feel quiet. Playing music.” 

“Quiet?” Alex asks.  
“I have all this chaos going on inside me all the time and all I want to do is get away from myself. But then I play and then uhh…my entropy changes. Everything goes quiet.” This is a moment. It feels like a moment. Right? Guerin looks at Alex in the eye and says, “thank you.” Oh yeah this is a moment. 

“You’re welcome.” Okay. Just lean in Alex. Just lean in. 

So, I read that wrong. Cool cool cool cool cool. Guerin pulls away and starts playing the guitar. Time to get out of here with whatever dignity he has left. 

“Okay. So, it’s getting late and I have work tomorrow so I’ll just let you be.” 

“Sure. Good night and thanks again for what the guitar.” 

Michael’s POV:  
He screwed up bad. It’s not that he didn’t want to kiss Alex. Alex is… Those lips. The warm dark eyes. Michael wants to kiss him bad, but Alex is the only person that’s been kind to him and actually wants to be around him just because…he’s a good person. And he doesn’t want to do anything to mess that up. Michael just needs to explain it to him and fix this. 

As he walks up to the ticket booth, Alex is sitting there in a plastic green visor and matching vest. He even makes plastic look good. Focus. This can be fixed. Guerin you’ve got this. 

“Can we talk?” 

“Yeah…uh I guess.” 

“Somewhere private maybe?” Alex looks at him like he’s trying to figure out if he should give him the time of day. Finally, he turns the sign letting everyone know the ticket booth is closed and leads them to a room with glow in the dark stars and other space shit. 

“Okay talk,” Alex says.

He had this whole speech planned, but standing here in the moment and looking into those eyes all the words in the world just aren’t enough. He places his hands on either side of Alex’s face and softly kisses him and puts everything he wanted to say and everything he feels into it. He pulls away and looks into Alex’s eyes with a smile on his face and hope in eyes searching for sign that he felt it all as well. He stares at him for what feels like an eternity but is only just a few seconds until Alex leans in and kisses him and all is right with them…with the universe. 

Alex’s POV:  
This feels amazing. Kissing is amazing. Kissing Guerin is amazing. It’s butterflies and fireworks and weak knees. If he knew kissing was like this, he would have done it a long time ago. As much as it pains him he pulls away. Guerin looks at him. 

“Have to go back to work, but can we continue this later?” Guerin looks at me. 

“Sure.” Guerin steals one more kiss before he leaves and Alex deals with the longest shift ever. 

From then on, kissing becomes his favourite past time. Kissing is the best thing ever. Sure, spending time with Guerin is great. They talk and watching him play guitar and running his fingers through those golden curls are great, but Alex can’t get enough of those lips. Stolen kisses behind empty classrooms while at school. Laying in the bed of his truck underneath the stars in the desert and giving him quick pecks on the lips every time Alex catches Guerin looking at him. Making use of the mattress in the toolshed and straddling him and feeling those lips against his. Slow burn kisses. Kissing until the need to come up for air and then kissing some more. Kissing is his favourite thing to do ever?!?

Alex has urges, but Guerin is the first person he’s been with in all senses of the word. It’s not like anyone in this small town has been knocking on his door so to speak to go out with the loner emo kid. And whatever this is with Guerin feels like it could really be something and he doesn’t want to mess it up, so it’s baby steps, which means a whole lot of kissing (still the best thing ever) and nothing below the waist (and they say teenagers have no self-control). 

Then one day it hits him that he’s ready for the next in our whatever-this-is-ship. So, during their latest make out session in the toolshed he decides to be brave. While straddling Guerin, Alex slowly brings his hand towards the bulge in his jeans to test the waters. 

“What are you doing?” Guerin asks.

“I think I’m ready to take the next step,” Alex says while peppering kisses across Guerin’s face. 

“Are you sure? What about your dad?” Guerin is hesitant.

“It’s fine…” Alex assures him. “He never comes up here.”

“Have you done this before?” he asks Guerin. “I mean with…”

“Uh yeah, but not like with a guy, and not with someone that I’ve like as much as I like you.” 

Alex fights the urge to blush, but with a line like that he knows it’s a lost cause. Alex starts off slow, gliding his hand over Guerin’s jeans getting used to the feel of him in his hand. Alex leans into kiss him. He’s rewarded with a lustful moan, entering its way into their passionate kiss. Alex sits up and slides down his legs to get better access to his zipper. Alex undoes his button and unzips his pants slightly, exposing his boxers. Alex places his hand in the opening slit of his boxers and taking his cock out so he can really feel him. Looking down at Guerin’s dick, drops of pre-cum glistening on the tip, he can’t help but think of how nice it looks. His boy has a dick nice enough to be in a Jake Jaxson porn flick. His boy has an artsy dick. The thought brings a little smirk to his face, but he can think about that later. Right now he needs to focus on giving the best hand job ever.

Slowly but with purpose Alex let his hand slide down Guerin’s flesh and then back down, repeating this action multiple times until he is quivering and clinging onto Alex. Alex begins to pick up the pace, stroking up and down Guerin’s shaft. The more Guerin moans the faster Alex glides his hand up and down Guerin’s member. Alex can tell Guerin is close to the edge, his breath hitching, his cock pulsating in Alex’s hand. Then with a soft moan, Guerin says “I’m close” and then he’s spilling into Alex’s hand.  
Michael’s POV:  
It’s all calm and bliss and afterglow. It’s Alex with his head in his lap as Michael runs his fingers through his hair. It’s Alex nervously asking if he was good in the cutest way possible. It’s him being happy in this moment and never wanting to leave it. Then the shed door opens and it all falls away.  
Standing in the door way is Alex’s father. Alex darts up staring at his father with a look in his eyes. His dad starts walking across the room, picking up a hammer as he walks pass the work bench. “This ends now. How dare you---under my roof,” his dad says and it’s creepy and menacing AF!

“Dad, this has nothing to do with you,” Alex says in barely a whisper. 

The sergeant charges at Alex grabbing him by the neck and pinning him up against a wooden beam. 

“EVERYTHING thing you do is about me. Everything and I will not be humiliated.” He goes to raise the hammer in his hand and… He’s going to hurt his Alex. 

“Don’t touch him!” Michael charges at him, shoving the sergeant away. 

The sergeant grabs his left hand pinning it and him to the workbench. Michael sees the hammer go up, but never hears it come down. Then it’s Michael experiencing such immense pain as the sergeant brings the hammer down on his left hand. Then it’s him in his truck with a shaky, bloody and broken hand as he tries to find a way to fight the pain. 

Then it’s Alex has joined the army. And as time goes by, when he isn’t drinking the darkness away, it’s him looking at his scarred hand thinking about the boy that cared, that gave him a place to stay that was supposed to be safe, that gave him the one thing that helped him find the quiet when chaos was threatening to take over, that made him smile and happy, that made him forget that not all people are good, or that experiencing joy, happiness, and for the briefest moment HOPE was meant for him.

The End…


End file.
